Revision: A Start

Revision Process

I like to look at it as THREE things:

  1. Starting at the very base line of digging into it, there is PROOFING. This is where, on word to word, sentence to sentence level you look for errors of style, grammar, and syntax.
  2. Moving up a bit you have EDITING. This is also a sentence to sentence but also paragraph to paragraph examination of your paper. Are there things you need to add? Are there things you need to remove? Are there things you should move around?
  3. REVISING is the last and most wholistic. This is where you take your thesis statement or purpose for a paper and look at the paper as a whole.

Some general resources for us to consider in approaching Revision

1. OWL at Purdue’s section on Revision

2. UNC Writing Center


Document Resources

1. Tips for Revising and Editing

2. Revising Your Paper

Essay 1 Peer Review

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For this essay you want to look closely at the following:

  1. Is there a good “hook” that draws you in to the story in the first posting (Blog Post 1)?
  2. Is there a well told story here? Is it complete with beginning, middle, and end?
  3. Is there enough vivid imagery and material to pull you in, engage your interest, and make you feel like you can visually see and feel the things they describe?
  4. Is there a clear significance conveyed to the reader (you)?

– Check also for grammar and other proofing errors as well.

– Provide any constructive feedback you may wish to impart.


AFTER the PEER REVIEW

You should take the feedback given to you, take some time to interact and discuss the comments with those who gave you the feedback, and figure out what feedback works best for you to help improve your paper.

Use the selected feedback to improve your paper and craft your second draft for submission as a rough draft to your instructor for feedback.


Significance with Narratives

This is a good place for us to consider where to start thinking about communicating significance of a narrative to our audience.

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Keep in special mind that it is your responsibility to “make clear” why or how this story has significance to an audience.

This can take the form, when it comes to significance, of being as simple as:

  1. Personal significance: Where what you communicate is reflective and where you communicate to your audience how the narrative has meaning to you personally
  2. Larger significance: Where you communicate a message in your story and explicitly point it out to your audience about how it has a larger meaning anyone can take away as important
  3. Both: It can be both 1 and 2.

To better help you out here, let us look at an example from Shannon Nichols short essay “Proficiency” for some guidance:

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Here is another example:

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VIDEO WALKTHROUGH

Descriptive/Vivid Detail: Using it and Practicing with it.

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Vivid or descriptive details are important to narrative stories for helping us “bring to life” the events in the story and help to paint a picture that we can, when images are not available, imagine in our heads.

Descriptive Details: Vivid details are another crucial element, because they help bring the story to life for the audience. You want to help provide us with the feeling that we are there, with you, in the story. Aim to create “mental sensations of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and texture of the world in which your story takes place”

You will then attempt using descriptive and vivid detail, and we will discuss on Monday, to paint a picture of the comic book image below in words.


To put it another way:

Your job is to be able to describe it, written down, as if the audience cannot or will not SEE the image itself. Paint it in words.


I am looking for a nice sized paragraph (4-5 sentences) minimum. I want you to share it with us.


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VIDEO WALKTHROUGH