Revision Process, Part 1

Revision is an Umbrella Term for:

THREE Processes:

  1. Starting at the very base line of digging into it, there is PROOFING. This is where, on word to word, sentence to sentence level you look for errors of style, grammar, and syntax.

  2. Moving up a bit you have EDITING. This is also a sentence to sentence but also paragraph to paragraph examination of your paper. Are there things you need to add? Are there things you need to remove? Are there things you should move around?

  3. REVISING is the last and most wholistic. This is where you take your thesis statement or purpose for a paper and look at the paper as a whole.

Some general resources for us to consider in approaching Revision

1. OWL at Purdue’s section on Revision

2. UNC Writing Center

Document Resources

1. Tips for Revising and Editing

2. Revising Your Paper

Peer Review for Essay 1


For this essay you want to look closely at the following:

  1. Is there a good “hook” that draws you in to the story in the first posting (Blog Post 1)?

  2. Is there a well told story here? Is it complete with beginning, middle, and end?

  3. Is there enough vivid imagery and material to pull you in, engage your interest, and make you feel like you can visually see and feel the things they describe?

  4. Is there a clear significance conveyed to the reader (you)?

– Check also for grammar and other proofing errors as well.

– Provide any constructive feedback you may wish to impart.


You should take the feedback given to you, take some time to interact and discuss the comments with those who gave you the feedback, and figure out what feedback works best for you to help improve your paper.

Use the selected feedback to improve your paper and craft your second draft for submission as a rough draft to your instructor for feedback.

Significance in Narrative Essays

This is a good place for us to consider where to start thinking about communicating significance of a narrative to our audience.



Keep in special mind that it is your responsibility to “make clear” why or how this story has significance to an audience.

This can take the form, when it comes to significance, of being as simple as:

  1. Personal significance: Where what you communicate is reflective and where you communicate to your audience how the narrative has meaning to you personally

  2. Larger significance: Where you communicate a message in your story and explicitly point it out to your audience about how it has a larger meaning anyone can take away as important

  3. Both: It can be both 1 and 2.

To better help you out here, let us look at an example from Shannon Nichols short essay “Proficiency” for some guidance:


Here is another example:





Narratives tend to make good use of dialogue to help communicate the story and characters within it. Let us look at how to handle formatting and some helpful approaches to clarity for dialogue in our Narrative Essays.

Here are some ideas:


Understanding and Practicing Using Vivid/Descriptive Details.

questions (1)

Vivid or descriptive details are important to narrative stories for helping us “bring to life” the events in the story and help to paint a picture that we can, when images are not available, imagine in our heads.

Descriptive Details: Vivid details are another crucial element, because they help bring the story to life for the audience. You want to help provide us with the feeling that we are there, with you, in the story. Aim to create “mental sensations of the sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and texture of the world in which your story takes place”

You will then attempt using descriptive and vivid detail, and we will discuss on Monday, to paint a picture of the comic book image below in words.

To put it another way:

Your job is to be able to describe it, written down, as if the audience cannot or will not SEE the image itself.

I am looking for a nice sized paragraph (4-5 sentences) minimum. I WILL be taking this up at the end of class.


How we will handle “No Class” this week.

The Game Plan!
I hope everyone is safe and well. I want to quickly bring you to speed on things for now and when we are back in class on Monday, Sept. 9.
1. You need to go ahead and be working on Mindedge Module 3. It is what we would have been working on this week. It will remain open until the end of the day on Tuesday, Sept. 10.
2. This coming week, Sept. 9 – 13 will be our 2ndB Week. You will receive a new reading on Monday. I will also, this weekend, be looking at and giving feedback on your first summary reading for those who posted them.
3. I will be uploading some blog posts talking about vivid detail and dialogue, two elements important to our first essays. I will also do a video lecture to go up Friday (Sept. 6) discussing the material.
4. I am also, and it is already changed on the assignment sheet on the blog site, changing the due dates for our Essay 1.
Peer Review for Essay 1will now be on Sept. 11 (next Wednesday), in class. You will be asked on     Monday, reminded, about bringing copies/drafts to class that day.
Rough Drafts for Essay 1will now be turned in to Moodle on Friday, Sept. 13 by  11:59   PM.
 – Final Drafts for Essay 1will now be turned in to Moodle on Friday, Sept. 20 by 11:59 PM.
Any questions, please email me.
Dr. Evans